BY: Manoah Kikekon
 |
| Manoah Kikekon |
Despite
that my culture prioritizes respect, it has failed to recognize some other
aspect of life; which is taking care of the aged family member but prefer
staging an elaborate burial for a relative that had died of hunger.
A
brief analysis of my culture will be done, before venturing into how the
culture has neglected some vital aspects of human life and this gives me a sleepless
night.
As
a boy born and bred in the western part of Nigeria. where the culture of my
people is very important as to who you become and what you do on daily basis.
Most of the important thing my culture prioritize is respect for the elders,
which I have seen as the road map or the route to growing old, or one of the
things anyone who long to grow old should prioritise dearly.
Cultural Beliefs of Western Nigeria
This ideology has been followed by some beliefs, which can be realistic at some point in time in life. These beliefs are backed by the saying that the elders are known to have had several experiences, which could be a guide to the young in the course of their life endeavours, guiding them against making costly life mistakes. The benefactor of this can only be someone that respects elders so much so, that could be trusted with such a piece of valuable knowledge. That is why the Yoruba saying said, “Omo to ba mo owo we, a ba agba jeun”.
Secondly,
my culture regards the prayers of the elders to be highly valuable and
important so much that we believe it can change the course of one’s life for
good or for worse, and if any young person is cursed by an elderly person, the
life of such person may be marred forever. That is why respect has always held
a high place in my culture and still does to date and some other beliefs
related to respect are always manifest in the life of my people.
The
level of priority ascribed to respect is part of the reasons why a male is
expected to prostrate and a female is expected to kneel while greeting an
elder, which had become part of the identity of the people.
On
the part of respecting elders, my people can practice that to the last, not
minding what it takes to do that which I fully subscribe to. On my part respect
is not only limited to the elders alone, everyone on earth deserves respect and
to be respected; whether young or old. And if this can be taken into
consideration, this life will be a better place for everyone to stay.
From
my vivid study of various cultures in Nigeria, I can say my culture prioritizes
respect for the elders more than any other culture in the nation. Recent further
studies led to the discovery of some lapses in my culture, which is a very
important aspect to be considered. This call for a need to look into these
shortcomings.
Malpractices in Western Nigeria's Culture
The
major mind-boggling part of my culture is feeding the crowd that came for the
burial of an aged parent that died of hunger, I will take my time to elaborate
more on this because it’s becoming a serious concern to me. As a human
development advocate, I demand a revisit to such an ideology because I despise
such thinking.
My
culture advocate going to any length in giving last respect to the elders,
which I can say there is nothing wrong about. I don’t want my readers to get me
wrong here, I am not saying you should not bury your aged parents or relatives, neither do I intend to speak against the culture but I believe by the end of this work the message will be clear to everyone.
The
actions of many people toward taking care of their elderly are very bad and alarming
lately, where you will see people starving their aged relatives to death, only to stage
an elaborate burial, killing several cows and collecting expensive “Aso Ebi”
for that purpose. Most people don’t take care of their aged relatives today.
You
could even see some people praying for their aged relatives to die, so they can
invite dignitaries and give a “befitting burial” as they say. Which is why I ask,
how on earth can you befit a hungry dead person by feeding the living? what an
irony!. Why not give the person befitting care when he/she was alive.
A burial where you see several gorgeous dressings and delicacies of various types, dance steps to and fro. I feel so confused and I asked myself, “what exactly is the celebration about?” Is death not a period of mourning? Some could go to the extent of collecting loans or selling their properties for this purpose.
Some relatives may decide to stay away from the sick person and her immediate family, for empty reasons waiting for the person to die then they come to claim that died is their brother or sister, and shamelessly demanding relevancies This has baffled me severally. some families could even go to the extent of making life difficult for the children and wife of the deceased. Some relatives see death as an avenue to torment and harass the wife and the children of the deceased. Even going to the extent of confiscating some properties of the deceased. Forgetting that posterity is waiting to judge everyone according to his deed.
How to Improve Western Nigeria's Culture
This
I call a cankerworm eating the virtue in our culture, in my discussion with a
friend from the Eastern part of the nation, she affirmed the situation is the
same in her place too. Stating that burial is more prioritised than taking care
of the aged when they were alive.
The disheartening part of it is that some parents prefer selling their land for burial purposes to selling land for the development of their children, this has also affected the level of development in the society today. Some parent thinks immediately after the child is adolescent they should be responsible for themselves. This had marred the life of several young people.
A friend who is from the eastern part of the country lamented bitterly about how such a lifestyle is drawing the society back and if care is not taken, the coming generation will be affected as a result of the lifestyle.
My stay in the northern part of the country proved contrary to my experience on the level of importance attached to respect to an elder in the west. The level of not paying attention to the aged still prevails there too.
But the take-home here is that
more of the respect should go to anyone that deserves it when he or she is
still alive and not a situation where we tend to please the living at the burial
of a person that was not pleased while he was alive.
That
is why I ask, what shall it profit a man, if he shall starve his/her aged or sick
relative to death, and end up felicitating with the crowd at the burial?