By: Manoah Kikekon
This case should not begin with Dr. Tosin Ajayi's death. It should begin with how he chose to live his life. The dead cannot speak. But their lives speak for them.
Why would a respected medical practitioner, a man of sound mind and impeccable judgment, leave Adenike Yemisi Ajayi over 35 years ago and never return?
Dr. Tosin Ajayi left Adenike Ajayi 10 years before he met Helen Prest Ajayi, whom he later married. He then spent the next 25 years building a life and family with Helen in full view of relatives, friends, professional associates and society.
If Adenike Ajayi truly believed she remained Dr. Tosin Ajayi's lawful wife, why did she remain silent for more than three decades?
Why did she never challenge him?
Why did she never petition for divorce?
Why did she never seek maintenance?
Why did she never ask any court to declare that she was still his wife?
Most importantly, why did she never challenge either Helen Prest Ajayi or Dr. Tosin Ajayi during his lifetime?
Another question people are asking is this: if Dr. Tosin Ajayi truly believed he remained legally married to Adenike Yemisi Ajayi, why did he never seek a divorce before openly building a new life with Helen Prest Ajayi?
For the next 35 years, Dr. Tosin Ajayi lived without any apparent concern that he needed to dissolve an existing marriage. For 25 years, he openly introduced Helen Prest Ajayi as his wife, built a family with her, and lived that life publicly. His actions suggest that he did not believe there was a marriage requiring dissolution.
The court also heard evidence from Adenike Ajayi herself that she was unable to authenticate the alleged marriage in the manner required by law because the marriage certificate could not be found in the official registry.
The court further had before it an earlier consent judgment relating to participation in Dr. Tosin Ajayi's funeral. In those proceedings, Adenike Ajayi entered into a consent judgment recognising both herself and Helen Prest Ajayi as co-wives. That judgment was tendered and admitted into evidence by Adenike Ajayi herself. It is difficult to understand why the trial court failed to attach due weight to that earlier judicial record.
Respectfully, these are matters that deserved far greater consideration.
Taken together, these are not minor issues. They are significant pieces of evidence which, it is respectfully maintained, were not given the weight they deserved.
They also raise a simple question deserving careful consideration: if there was no marriage that could be legally established, what exactly was there to divorce?
Moreover, the evidence before the court showed that in 2010, Adenike Yemisi Ajayi attended her own daughter's wedding in London, a wedding organised by Helen Prest Ajayi, the widow of Dr. Tosin Ajayi. The seating arrangements, prepared by Adenike Ajayi's own daughter, Mayowa Okeowo (née Ajayi), placed Dr. Tosin Ajayi and Helen Prest Ajayi together as husband and wife, while Adenike Ajayi was seated at another table.
There was no protest.
There was no objection.
There was no legal action.
For more than 35 years, there was no public, private or business relationship between Adenike Yemisi Ajayi and Dr. Tosin Ajayi. There was no evidence of a continuing marriage. There was no attempt to prevent him from openly living his life with another woman for a quarter of a century.
That silence speaks volumes.
The unfortunate reality is that the wealth Adenike Ajayi could not access during Dr. Tosin Ajayi's lifetime is the wealth she now seeks to access after his death. It appears she believes that because Dr. Tosin Ajayi is no longer alive, he cannot answer for himself.
But if the dead cannot speak, their lives can.
For the last 35 years of his life, Dr. Tosin Ajayi's actions consistently pointed in one direction. He left Adenike Ajayi and never returned. He had no relationship with her, publicly or privately. He did not share a home with her, build a life with her, or present her to the world as his wife. Instead, he chose to spend the next 25 years building a home and family with Helen Prest Ajayi.
His conduct over three and a half decades strongly suggests that he wanted nothing further to do with Adenike Ajayi. Those were not the actions of a man who intended to preserve a marital relationship. They were the actions of a man who had made a deliberate and enduring choice about how—and with whom—he wished to live his life.
That is why many find this outcome difficult to understand. The judgment now has the effect of redirecting the fruits of Dr. Tosin Ajayi's lifetime's work to someone with whom, by his own consistent conduct over 35 years, he demonstrated no intention of resuming any relationship.
A further question naturally arises. If there were no substantial estate to inherit, would Adenike Ajayi still be asserting that she was Dr. Tosin Ajayi's only wife?
This case is about far more than money. It concerns the reputation and legacy of Dr. Tosin Ajayi, a man who can no longer defend himself.
Dr. Tosin Ajayi can no longer come before any court to explain why he left Adenike Ajayi 35 years ago and never returned, why he spent the next 25 years with Helen Prest Ajayi, why he openly presented her as his wife, or why he lived his life exactly as he did.
But he did leave something behind.
He left the evidence of the life he lived.
The evidence of how he lived the final 35 years of his life cannot simply be brushed aside. His conduct, his relationships, and the life he openly lived tell a story that no witness can rewrite.
That is why it is respectfully maintained that the learned trial judge reached a conclusion that was against the weight of the evidence.
In the end, Dr. Tosin Ajayi has spoken—not with words, but through the choices he made during his lifetime. Those choices deserve to be given the weight they warrant.
The question the public is entitled to ask is this: should a court disregard the clear choices a person made throughout the final 35 years of his life and redirect the fruits of his lifetime's work in a manner inconsistent with those choices, particularly when those choices were open, consistent and never challenged while he was alive?
IF THERE WAS NO ESTATE, WOULD THERE STILL BE A FIGHT?
For more than 35 years, Dr. Tosin Ajayi lived a life that everyone could see.
He left Adenike Ajayi over 35 years ago.
He never returned.
He spent 25 years openly building a home and family with Helen Prest Ajayi.
There was no challenge during his lifetime.
Only after his death did the battle over his estate begin.
The question many people are now asking is simple:
If there were no substantial estate to inherit, would anyone still be claiming to be Dr. Tosin Ajayi's only wife?
This case is about more than money.
It is about whether the choices a person makes throughout his lifetime should still matter after he is gone.
THE EVIDENCE SPOKE. WAS IT GIVEN THE WEIGHT IT DESERVED?
This case is not simply about an estate. It is about the weight that should be given to undisputed facts.
Adenike Ajayi admitted in court that she could not authenticate the alleged marriage because the marriage certificate could not be found in the official registry.
She also accepted an earlier consent judgment recognising both herself and Helen Prest Ajayi as co-wives.
Dr. Tosin Ajayi then spent the final 35 years of his life living openly apart from Adenike Ajayi and building a family with Helen Prest Ajayi.
These facts were before the court.
It is respectfully maintained that they deserved greater weight.
The dead cannot speak.
But the lives they lived and the evidence they leave behind should never be ignored.
DR. TOSIN AJAYI LEFT ADENIKE AJAYI 35 YEARS AGO. WHY SHOULD HIS CHOICES COUNT FOR NOTHING NOW?
The dead cannot speak. But their lives speak for them.
Dr. Tosin Ajayi left Adenike Ajayi over 35 years before his death. Ten years later, he met his widow, Helen Prest Ajayi, built a new family with her, and spent the next 25 years openly living as her husband.
If Adenike Ajayi believed she remained his lawful wife, why did she never challenge him while he was alive?
Why no court action?
Why no application for maintenance?
Why no protest?
Why 35 years of silence?
The evidence before the court also showed that Adenike Ajayi admitted she could not authenticate the alleged marriage as prescribed by law because the marriage certificate could not be found in the official registry. The court also had before it an earlier consent judgment recognising both women as co-wives.
These are not minor issues.
Dr. Tosin Ajayi can no longer speak for himself. But the life he lived speaks loudly.
The question the public is entitled to ask is this: should the clear choices a person made throughout the final 35 years of his life be ignored after his death?
